Halloween Kills: The Halloween Franchise at its most self-indulgent.

⭐1/2

Rob Ryan

The biggest problem with the Halloween Franchise is that It should never have been a franchise in the first place. The idea is perfect for one film (maybe two) but expanding the simplistic tale told in the original further, not only risks undoing the mystery set-up, but it risks the story growing tired and laborious as there is only so much one can do with the story of a masked, indestructible killer going back to a small town and slashing people and after a while, the effect of that idea wears itself off, as a result, we've had expanded sequels that attempt to expand the mythology of the origins of Michael Meyers only for studios to dismiss them entirely and make new sequels that act as if they are in fact the proper expansion of the Halloween story and all the others don't matter. This new trilogy directed by David Gordon Green and produced by famed horror regurgitator Jason Blum seems to only exist to contribute to this problem further.

The first instalment of this trilogy oddly titled "Halloween" and nothing else was not spectacular but it took the franchise back to its simplistic roots. Reducing Michael's motives to speculation while also delivering a fun slasher, if this was the only film in this series I would take no issue with that. Unfortunately, that was not to be and now we have Halloween Kills which continues the franchise's cycle to give a satisfying continuation without satisfying anyone.

The story takes place after the events of the 2018 film, Laurie Strode played by the always reliable Jamie Lee Curtis (who is given the unfortunate task of carrying this series again after appearing in two inconsequential sequels) is taken to hospital along with her daughter Karen (Judy Greer) and granddaughter Allyson (Andi Matichak) after trapping and seemingly burning down Laurie's home with Michael inside, however, a fire crew come to the house to undo the full burning of the house and as a result, Michael breaks free from the fire and massacres the fire crew one by one.

Meanwhile, in a local bar, Tommy Doyle (Anthony Michael Hall) the kid Laurie Strode babysat in the first film and one witness to Michael's rampage hears of the killings that took place in the first film, not before conveniently making a speech commemorating the victims of the events of that night. He concludes that Michael has come home and along with other familiar faces of the first film band together to form a pact with the people of Haddonfield to take him down once and for all.

The problems really start with the characters, particularly with it's the use of past characters from the very first film, from Tommy Doyle, Lindsey Wallace (Kyle Richards) another kid Laurie babysat and other characters who weren't even in the original but due to the films opening flashback where the film retcons the original sequel from 1981 acts like we are supposed to care about them. The inclusion of all these characters and their dialogue is like listening to a senior at old folks home talk about how special he is because he knew someone who was a friend of someone who saw a Nazi submarine emerge from the ocean despite that person never actually serving in the war.

Not only do all of these characters speak in trailer lines, but they constantly repeat how the night changed them over and over again, this is in spite of the fact that we've never seen some of these characters before and other characters who have played a role in the previous film including Laurie and Sherrif Breckkit ( Charles Cyphers) do nothing throughout the entire film. This rambling of the past takes up at least 20 minutes of run time and all this does is remind me that maybe the correct thing that should have been done is to watch the original and not bother with any of its sequels.

It's not just them however, everyone seems to have some grievance with Michael and they all speak as if they have a score to settle with him. some of them including Allyson whose father was murdered by Myers have a reason for wanting to go out and hunt him down. but so many other characters tag along despite having no connection to the Myers murders except living in the same town. The worst example is Vanessa and Marcus (Michael Smallwood and Carmela McNeil) who's characters made such little impression in the previous film, I only found out that they were even in the film by looking on Wikipedia. Their only motive is due to hearing about him from others and a possible close encounter with him in the back seat for their car. Other than that there is no reason for them to tag along while carrying guns that they are completely ill-equipped to use. Everyone in Haddonfield is very unprepared and completely helpless as everyone seems to be mostly carrying bats and sharp objects that he can easily use on them anyway, the man survived 6 shots to the chest! What makes you think he's going to survive a wack from a baseball bat?

It's bad enough that every character seems to be acting like they are the centre of attention while monologing how that night changed them, It's even worse when we introduce two characters who serve no purpose other than to reinforce the legacy of Myers and for the audience to feel bad when they inevitably get killed. They are known as Big John and Little John (Scott McArthur and Michael McDonald) a couple who are now residents of the Myers household. We get elongated comedic moments about how they scare the kids on Halloween due to them living in the house where young Michael murdered his sister, but also to show off how adorable they are. not only was this a complete waste of time but the intended emotion from their banter seems to be one of coiling cutsieness which feels somewhat condescending given that they are the only two gay characters in the entire franchise and they serve little purpose other than for forced comedy and to be added to the death count. it's so clearly written from an outsider's perspective as well as someone who doesn't know that many people who are LGBT.

Also, why is their first impression, (along with everyone else in this movie) when they think they hear someone in their house is to grab a weapon and to walk very slowly, has anyone in Haddonfield ever heard of running away from a situation to defuse the number of injuries and deaths as much as possible?

Halloween Kills is clearly going for themes of mob mentality and how tragedy can tear us apart and that's admirable in of itself. The problem is that after 30 minutes, it doesn't have any value to say beyond giving surface-level monologues repeating these ideas, as much as possible, beating you over the head, never once giving a nuanced or a different dimension to these themes all while focusing on all these characters, while leaving our main ones in the background.

All of this gives this instalment a sense of self-importance, Like it's characters it thinks it's making an impact by dealing with difficult subjects, but every character is so unlikeable and annoying and the point is hammered home so much that it only does a disservice to those themes of past trauma that the film clearly wants to get across., all while never really moving the story forward as this is the middle film in the trilogy and we have to wait for another year for this story and hope for this franchise to be put out of its misery.

There are something's to like about Halloween kills, It's shot really well, everyone is giving it their all, and the music co- done by the creator of the franchise John Carpenter is evocative and chilling, maintaining the themes in the original while having its own contemporary twist. Where Halloween Falls apart is everywhere else. While I did get some enjoyment and some unintentional laughs from how stupid every decision made in this film was, this was mostly a frustrating experience and is yet another nail in the coffin for this tired franchise that like many others should have been left to die years ago. Hopefully, this final instalment can put this debate about which one is truly cannon to rest but given the series success, given another decade maybe someone will fo their horrid spin on this series.

God help us all.

Halloween Kills is out in UK cinemas now.