The Exorcism: Russel Crowe mumbles his way through zzzzzz Fest

Rob Ryan

⭐ 1/2

The Exorcism is the second Exorcism film in over a year to star Russel Crowe. The first was The Pope's Exorcist which was meamed online for the scenes in which he rides a moped and now he stars in this second one which doesn't seem to have any potentially amusing moments throughout, not because the film is scary, but because the film like it's star seems to be operating at a drunk pace that you only mildly wake up when ever the obligatory jump scare happens or when the sound editors crank up the audio in the final act which at that point you will have already have lost interest despite the film insisting you to maintain your attention.

Crowe is Anthony Miller, an actor who had a really bad drinking problem years prior due to his wife dying from cancer, keen to put his life back on track and to fix his relationship with his daughter (Ryan Simpkins) he lands an acting gig for a horror movie, playing a priest who has to perform an exorcism for a girl possessed by a demon. It's not until he start's performing on set does his behaviour start to change, he sleep walks at night while muttering Latin, his mental health rapidly deteriorates and his hands keep getting covered in blood. Do I dare continue this sentence with what this could all mean or have you already figured out what is indeed happening before you've read this paragraph?

The release of this film a year after The Pope's Exorcist seems like a coincidence until you discover the fact that The Exorcism was made in late 2019 to early 2020 and was shelved due the pandemic before having some scenes reshoot in 2023. Which is befuddling to me because this film feels barley strung together, it feels like there are scenes missing that not only would have expanded or developed crucial plot points, but would have given this film some sense of structure, despite the film giving us reference of which day of the film shoot we are at, like chapters in a book, the time frame for Anthony's decent into full demonic possession is so murky that there's no sense of buildup to when he becomes more and more possessed. It just happens.

Speaking of murky, the cinematography is way too dark. I get that muted colours is par for the course for this kind of film but when your doing a scene where a character walks down an almost pitch black staircase, you kind of want to be able to get a good glimpse of what is it your looking at that's supposed to be scary instead of looking back to see if there's a problem with the projector.

The movie's sluggish pace, monotone delivery by most of the cast and the excruciating feeling of boredom i felt is not helped by the fact that the film has very few locations and is mostly people sat in rooms talking. They show the set of the movie earlier on in a big sound stage which has is a life size, modern, middle class house placed in the centre and as far as I'm aware they might as well as shot the entire movie on that very same set which kind of breaks the illusion of filmmaking if you ask me.

The closest this film get's to being anywhere interesting is when we see Anthony try to bottle in his inner demons and trauma whilst the director of the film (Adam Goldberg) verbally abuses him by reminding him of not only his battle with alcoholism but when he was a victim of sexual abuse by a priest when he was an altar boy, in order to try and get the best take out of him. The film could have leaned to the psychological, where a part of the horror comes from the emotionally taxing experience of making movies, made by sleazy and egotistical narcissists, thus giving Crowe no choice but to emotionally crack thus doing untold harm to himself and others, maybe said director gets his comeuppance for his behaviour which would have greatly improved the experience but instead, a possessed Crowe just causes the lights to turn off and on, before bashing his head onto the set table multiple times which for some reason none of the cast and crew see as a reason to scrap the movie entirely.

I think I've spent too much time talking about this movie then I should have, not since Night Swim have I seen a more duller, uncreative and uninspired horror movie. The cast including the likes of Sam Worthington and a surprise appearance for David Hyde Pierce are completely wasted (the former has only two scenes in the entire movie) and the whole tone of the movie feels so indifferent that the same feeling is completely reflected onto you. Before the film started, I got the trailers for many potentially good and compelling upcoming horror movies and to follow the experience of watching them by viewing the longest 1 hour and a half horror movie I have ever scene, feels like a mild slap in the face.